come thru

My home had been a come thru point. With an apartment in the City, an openness to the open consumption of weed, alcohol, and cigarettes in said apartment, irregular work hours, no roommates or significant other, and no shame about the state of my face, body, or belongings when folks dropped by unexpectedly, it made sense. Not that I didn’t venture to a friend’s place or meet someone out on occasion. But, especially in the last few months before moving, I never had to leave my apartment to socialize. People came thru.

To be honest, and I do apologize for it, I took my popularity entirely for granted. I never even thought about the relationship dynamics created because people came to me instead of the other way around. I never thought about what it takes to put oneself out there every time I got a phone call You home? I can be there in 10. It never occurred to me that folks could roll up in countless spots, take a break from their living situation absolutely anywhere outside their own home, call up anyone they knew when an appointment finished early, so it mattered that they chose me. To be honest, I haven’t been humble enough in my friendships at all. 

Having to reach out to people to see what’s up and then get my ass to their homes is a new experience for me. It’s one I didn’t realize was obligatory until yesterday. It’s thus an experience I haven’t tried on. But having seen the light, I’m now convinced it’s a primary reason I don’t have substantial friends in Phoenix.

The last time I didn’t have friends was 4th grade. With my sister now living a 40 minute drive away, I could be in danger of becoming that ten year old–wandering back and forth across the recess blacktop aimlessly–all over again. That’s someone I’m not willing to be. It’s been dead for two decades for a reason.  So, without further ado, I’m about to learn how to be one of those people who comes thru. If this wasteland of a desert folks wanna call a city has done anything for me, it’s promote growth. The humility it takes to be on the flip side of the friendship is a lesson I’m about to learn, practice, and master.

I just need to figure out this driving thing and come up with the money for a car too…

The homies, the best baby, the messy crib, the now-dead cat (RIP)